


The Adventures of Gobz and Snik.

by FulgrimOfTheThird



Category: Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor (Video Games), TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-20 17:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21060815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FulgrimOfTheThird/pseuds/FulgrimOfTheThird
Summary: Two Orcs and their adventures in Mordor on the periphery of some human who keeps attacking their camps.





	1. Chapter 1

“Ain’t nothing there ya morons.” One of the Orcs muttered as he looked over the walls, “Just some stupid caragor sitting there.” Snik looked again and realised the figure he’d seen was gone. Had he really seen a figure at all? 

“Someone was riding that beast, I swear!” He tried to defend himself, “Just keep your damned eyes peeled.”

“If you’ve pulled me away from my fire for nothing I’m going to wear your skin as a cloak,” The big Orc threatened Snik, “And use yer mate’s head as a piss pot.” 

Gobz bared his fangs and spat, “Try it you fat bastard.”

The other Orc snarled and raised his sword when there was a calamitous explosion from the courtyard and the sound of Orcs roaring in pain. Snik looked into the courtyard and saw that someone had made the grog barrels that had recently been brought in and waiting to be stored explode, killing those Orcs who had stayed nearby rather than crowd the wall at his warning earlier. He glanced about and could have sworn he saw a shape fit back into the shadows. Surely that hadn’t been a man he’d seen but it was certainly not bulky enough to be an Orc. And besides what Orc would be attacking a fortress filled with his own kind by himself. 

“Over there!” He pointed to the corner of the courtyard he’d thought he’d seen the shape. “Someone is down there. Someone is trying to take us out.” 

“You gone daft in the head?” The fat Orc growled, once again raising his weapon towards Snik and Gobz. He stopped abruptly as an arrow materialised in his forehead and he collapsed to the stone work beneath him. 

“I bloody told you!” Snik hollered, “Get out there! Find them!” He pushed the Orc closest to him to make his point and they scattered from the wall and began to spread out, looking for the hidden archer. Another Orc went down with a distinctively non-Orchish arrow in his eye. Snik grabbed Gobz as he went to run pass and pulled him aside. “I think we should go get reinforcements from the next fortress.” 

“Why? It’s one bloody tark,” Gobz replied, then paused. “One tark who rode up on a caragor, snuck in past us, blew up our grog and put down two more before we realised.” He nodded, “I think you’ve got a right good idea there Snik.” 

“Yeah I do. Let’s scarper,” He replied and began to put action to word. He led the way down the tower steps and into the courtyard right by the gate they’d be stood watch over. He opened the smaller gate in the larger doors and stepped through. Gobz didn’t bother to shut it behind them as he and Snik made sure to give the caragor still waiting outside a wide berth. They set off at a good clip towards the next fortress ignoring the occasional scream from behind them until it went blessedly quiet. 

About a day into their trek to the next fortress Gobz paused from his chewing of a rabbit bone and looked over at Snik who seemed to be trying to disappear inside his armour to escape the cold. “I’ve been thinking. Do we really want to walk to the next place and tell them that we left our place because one tark snuck in? What if the other lads killed him?” He flicked the bone aside.

Snik glanced over at his buddy, his eyes barely visible through the fur he’d pulled about his head, “You’ve got a point there. And even if they didn’t, who’s gonna believe us that one bloody tark killed a whole fortress of Orcs?” He picked his nose thoughtfully, “Maybe we should just tell them we got a message.”

“Yeah but what message?” Gobz spat and scratched his head, “Maybe we should say we got sent to ask for a new smith cuz ours got ate by a warg?” 

Snik shrugged and spat too, “Sure. I can’t think of anything better to say.” 

They continued walking except for the one part where they had to sprint to avoid a roaming caragor, this one without some mad tark on its back, until eventually they made it to the fortress. The huge iron gates were wide open and the Orcs couldn’t see the shape of anyone on the walls. No smoke rose from behind the walls and no noise issued at all bar the moaning of wind through the stones. 

“Where the shit is everyone?” Gobz asked as he stepped up to the gates and peered through them into the courtyard beyond. What he saw made him turn right back around and not even bother going inside. “I think the tark’s been here too. Ain’t no one alive in there.”

“Well shit.” Snik spat and threw his hands up in frustration. “Either he cleared this one out first or he overtook us somewhere along the trip.” He walked past Gobz and into the courtyard. “Might as well get some supplies, this poor sods ain’t gonna need it anymore.” He gave a nearby corpse a kick and cursed when, with a resounding clang, he caught armour and not flesh. He began picking through what was left, Gobz eventually joining him. They picked up some extra furs, a couple of backpacks that they stuffed with meat and a few spare weapons before leaving the carcass of the fortress behind to begin walking towards the next fortification in the hopes that the barmy tark hadn’t gotten there first. 


	2. Chapter 2

A few weeks later found Gobz and Snik stood on another windswept and cold fortress wall looking out over a different expanse of Mordor’s bleak landscape. They were both wearing newer furs that they’d scavenged along their trek back to an Orcish population.

“Still too cold to be out here.” Gobz grumbled as he stared out across Mordor. Snik just rolled his eyes and spat over the wall. 

“Yeah it’s cold but at least we got more boys around us.” Snik gave a shrug that was almost lost under the furs he’d piled on top of himself. “And this Ratbag seems like a War Chief who knows how to keep his skin intact.” He glanced down the walls to where the aforementioned Orc was staring out into the dawn. Snik noticed him getting agitated about something and nudged Gobz in the side. “Something’s happening, get ready to ‘get reinforcements’ again.” Gobz nodded in reply and the two Orcs began to slip their way down to the courtyard. They watched as Ratbag went to the Warg pens and were almost at the gate when he came riding back. The War Chief called for a weapon and Gobz instinctively threw him the barbed spear he was clutching, he’d move faster without it if need be and he still had his sword tucked behind him. 

Their plan fell apart a little when the War Chief cried out for a charge and the crowd of Orcs around the gate began to sprint after him with enthusiasm. Apparently the mad ghost tark had been spotted, riding up on a caragor just like the first time Gobz and Snik had seen him. They had since heard the rumours spreading around Mordor of an unkillable tark who either killed entire Orc fortresses or enslaved them to his will. Gobz certainly didn’t want to be charging at him no matter how many other lads were around him and from the look on his mate’s face, Snik shared that sentiment. But they were surrounded by bloodthirsty Orcs now, all howling for the tark’s blood so they ran along with them, waving weapons over their heads. He watched as Ratbag charged off ahead on his Warg to intercept the caragor and its burden and had to admit to a strange sense of pride in the War Chief which only swelled as the tark turned tail and ran after exchanging blows with the War Chief. They soon ended up out of sight and the foot slogging Orcs slowed down as they realised their quarry was out of sight and they were unlikely to catch up to them. 

“Right lads, you lot get back to the fortress in case he comes back. Me and Gobz will scout after them, make sure our beloved War Chief comes back.” Snik called. They had only been with Ratbag’s crew for a few weeks but they’d established themselves as exceptional scouts when called on and had earned the begrudging respect of the boys. Thankfully this led to them following his orders with a minimal of grumbling and only three threats to his life. When they were along Snik elbowed Gobz and laughed. “Well maybe we don’t need reinforcements but I’ve had enough of standing on a wall turning my bollocks into icicles. Let’s go follow their tracks and make sure the boss comes back fine.”

Gobz flicked the contents of his nose spelunking at Snik and nodded. “Sure, be good to get away from Frut’s stench for a while. I swear he’d put an incontinent Warg to shame.” He began to walk off in the direction Ratbag and the tark had gone. Their tracks were easy to follow and the two Orcs didn’t bother to rush, confident their War Chief would see off the tark one way or another. 

Many hours later they eventually encountered Ratbag returning at a steady pace on his Warg. They silently fell in alongside him, taking the hint his face was giving that he didn’t want to be disturbed. Eventually Snik spoke up. “Glad to see you back boss.” 


	3. Chapter 3

Well at least it wasn’t cold and there wasn’t a stone wall to be stood on. Instead there was rain and enough mud to drown an army. And of course Gobz and Snik had ended up being sent out to scout the area around their new camp. Victims of being the best scouts in Ratbag’s band at this point. 

“It may not be cold but I wish it was instead of wet.” Gobz muttered to himself. This was utterly miserable weather and conditions but they didn’t dare to try and skive off this time, however much Gobz ached to be by a warm fire under cover. A rustle to his left announced Snik’s arrival from a small detour to catch one of the scrawny hares that had been foolish enough to make itself known. Another such one hung under Gobz’s cloak where it would be somewhat dry at least. 

Snik gave his usual reply of a wad of phlegm directed near his friend and gave an added grunt. “Yeah, yeah. Twenty bloody years of listening to you complain. It’s a wonder I’m not insane.” 

Gobz just shrugged and also added a grunt. A noise ahead of them made both fall quiet. It sounded like a voice and no Orc was barmy enough to be out in this rain. Except the Gobz and Snik apparently. They moved slowly towards the source of the sound, careful not to make any noise themselves. They dropped behind a small jumble of rocks when they saw a lone tark kneeling in the mud, apparently talking to the air. They recognised him as the ghost-tark of swiftly gaining infamy and they shared a look that spoke volumes. Mostly speaking of a need to tell Ratbag his foe was here and vulnerable. He’d seen the tark off at least once before and Gobz and Snik had no desire to get closer to someone who rode caragors and depopulated entire fortresses. With a last glance at the tark they slipped away into the rain and headed back towards camp once more. 

An hour later and they were striding to Ratbag’s tent and rattling the flap to get the War Chief’s attention. They entered and shook themselves off like a pair of damp Wargs. Only they were soaked and not damp. 

“Boss, we’ve seen the ghost-tark out West in a valley just over an hour from here.” Snik began, vaguely pointing in the direction they’d come from. “The loony is talking to himself and moping about in the mud.”

“Thought we’d better come get you, boss. Since you’ve seen him off before, reckon you’d want to put him out of his misery again.” Gobz added. 

Ratbag dismissed them and the two Orcs went to the tent they’d nicked from a previous posting and shared with a few other scouts. They threw off their soaked clothing and sat by the fire with the others. Snik pulled out the hare he’d caught and deftly skinned and gutted it before throwing the offal into a scout’s face when he tried to demand a share of the food. “Feck off and get yer own.” He growled. The scout was treated to a second dashing of guts in the face when Gobz skinned his hare too. “Found that mad ghost-tark out in the mud tonight. Reckon ole Ratbag is going to go put him down all personal like.”

The other Orcs in the tent snorted,snarled and muttered replies and the conversation continued on until Ratbag made his return to camp and sent them all out to investigate something he’d seen on his way back to camp. Gobz and Snik muttered and griped as they threw on their still wet armour and headed back out into the rain to see what the War Chief was on about. 

A few hours later turned up nothing, not even a single footprint or out of place stone. The scouts returned to their tent once more and once again Gobz and Snik shucked off their armour and shook themselves off.

“Fuck this for a living.” Gobz muttered as he flopped into the pile of tattered furs and cloth he kept as a nest. Snik just spat before curling up into his own heaped up pile of tatters. 


End file.
